(not a theme song choice…just this post)

Well, Youve been waiting for it! Youve been asking for it!!  Sex!! Violence!!! Romance!!! Love! Video rentals!  Well the time has come……..and come with me on a journey to the center of my marriage….ah-ha-ha-ha-ha(that was supposed to be creepy laughing ghoul voice)

So…our story begins in mid-late 1983 ….where I somehow convinced my older brother Marty and his good friend(and family Dentist) Roy to invest in the latest and craziest business venture!!!!!    A Video Store!!   (remember you young folk, blockbuster didnt come knocking till around 1986)  So this was HOT! THIS was Cool!!   ground Floor baby….I dint have any money to invest of course , but I was managing like the 1st video store on Long Island….Videomat In Plainview….and I learned all the secrets, memorized all the codes(??) and i was ready to pass this info on to my brother and the Doc, and all they had to do was let me be the manager/partner in exchange for my knowledge.  And so Royal Mart Video was born in Hicksville , Long Island….980 South Broadway.   (do ya get the name ??? Roy-AL-Mart)

so They were absentee owners for the most part…..Roy injecting novacaine on unsuspecting patients all day and my brother crunching numbers and projecting sales for a large auto parts/courier company.  They would come by at night and on the weekends to give me a break (and check up on me…lets be honest).

so things were going along pretty smoothly…we were signing up club members for 90 bucks a pop…..which is the way it was done back then…..You got 1(maybe 2) free rentals a month with that plus a 2 dollar discount on any other movie rentals….AND….(this is important, later in our tale) you were automatically subscribed to the official , Infamous “Royal Mart Video monthly Newsletter” packed with important information, like whats hot in new movies, movie reviews, upcoming events, trivia and entertainment news……all brought to you, written and produced by, directed and cinemagraphed by (i made that word up) Me!!

What?   You thought this blog was the first time Ive written anything??!!!    Oh Pshaw!! (another word i might have made up or at least misspelled)

So we jump ahead to one night when i first noticed a particular customer, a tall blonde, a tall blonde with long wavy hair that went all the way down her back……..by herself, roaming the aisles , checking out the flicks. She had been in before , but this was the first time I was actually really noticing (fantasizing?) about her.

******   I think this might be the time to warn anyone(GLO) that I dont know what Im writing before i write it, these words just come out….its been cold here lately and im putting in this disclaimer, so i know i have a home to come to tomorrow….trust me, Im already in deep shit because of the song in the beginning…..but babe …it was this very very cool, live version…..just sayin”””””””””””””

ok so she comes to check out her movie, now suddenly, im slightly nervous about talking to her, but I manage….she said something about enjoying the newsletters every month, my heart did a wee little dance…….I find out her name is Gloria….cool…I dont know any Glorias till now…I like it….i go home thinking about her….alot

I already start to go to work on my big play…..and this is what it is:  Im gonna write a parody of one of my newsletters….make it really funny, throw in some innuendo(if ya know what I mean…..but subtle)  ….and win her over with my wit and charm……hey im in my 20’s, im at my prime , i think i got it goin on…….tho in hindsight….i was kinda the beast to her beauty….personality wise…..but hey…..it could happen, right?

I cant remember(what a shocker!!!) if I mailed it to her house or I just handed it to her….maybe she could comment later and correct all my mistakes……..but however i got it to her, it got a positive response……im freaking now, this is cool, this is better than i thought……she liked it!!!    I decide the next time she comes in, Im gonna go for it…….so about a week later…..she comes in….we chat ….about movies, she might have asked for some suggestions….I might have recommended “Alan and Gloria In Paradise’ but probably not…….so shes going to check out her movies and im going for it, no stopping me now…….I have a pretty solid record of not getting turned down…….”Hey there little lady” ( I didnt say that) ….You want to go out sometime, maybe dinner or a movie?   And heres what she said:   Pay attention!! This is very Romantic!!!! ❤   ” Oh wow, thanks….but Im engaged, Im getting married soon”  Im looking for an emoticon that would paint the picture better than i can tell you, but there isnt one….not a Rated PG one anyway. But I play it cool….maybe….ok wow! I say…I didnt know , that diamond engagement ring on your finger isnt something guys like me look for very often when coming on to girls like you……….(again…pretty sure thats not what I said)

But really …..what does it matter what I said. I asked her out. i got Burned and rejected. I was sad, i was a bit heartbroken and pretty pissed as well……….But not much I can do but move on with my life…..so i do for a few days ……im thinking Im probably never gonna even see her again, because, i probably made her uncomfortable…..and that sucks even worse….and Im thinking this one night when Gloria walks into the store……..BOING!   whoa….i wasnt really ready for that….but be cool, be cool….just act as if nothing happened….shes back to being a good movie customer now, like it or not…..she waves at me as she walked in, and started her routine of looking through the movies……..it felt like hours had gone by before she came to the counter….”hey” I said…….(smooth)     i start to ring her up and then she says these crazy words put together in some kind of sentence that made no sense in the English language (in my head, anyway)…..She said “you wanna go out for a drink ,one night”.  My mind was dancing around , but I responded ” well, yeah, but I thought you were engaged”   She grabbed her movies and started walking out and turned to me and said “I am” “Friday Night?”   Im , im ‘Yeah!”   Ok she said and disappeared into the night. Film Noir right here in the 80’s….WTF was that Im thinking??!!   Who Cares I decided!!!

so friday night comes and Im almost positive we met in the parking lot of the video store. She got into my car and we drove to this nice place Kind of a bar/restaurant/wine/cheese kinda place….not far….called genuwines in bethpage. we drank, we talked, we laughed….it was all easy….she was fun and she seemed to think I was funny….and i love when girls think Im funny.  after a couple of hours we drove back to the parking lot, I might have played her a song or two that whatever band I was in at the time were rehearsing(yknow…showing off….pulling out all the cards)  why/ I dont know…..that ring was still shining bright on her finger.

I think she gave me a short kiss before she go out of the car, and then she said you want to do this again? or go to a movie?  Again, i asked ” Youre still engaged, right?”   she gave me a sely, sexy smile and said yeah, i am…maybe youre my last fling!

Wow1 Did she just say that….am I ok with that? Being used as a sex object??!!    I decided I was. I was actually completely fine with it. We went out again a few nights  later…….we went to see this movie everyone was talking about, Purple Rain, . It was a Great Movie …we both Loved it. we both fell in love with Prince. we got back to my car and this time, well, this time the kisses were not short, the kisses were long and they were passionate, and they were romantic and I was feeling no pain. i was so into this girl!!!   and then she said something, to this day, i have trouble understanding or believing this…..She said ” Im going to break up with my fiance”  Im like “What!?”   She said …” I think Im falling for you….and if that can happen, i dont think I should be getting married”

Well…within the week, Gloria kept her word, Altho he pursued her quite stalkerishly(another made up word) for a long long time afterwards, taking ads out in the paper, sending her mother flowers…….even after her and I got pregnant and married, he was still trying to get her back…..but i guess I jumped the shark quite a bit there…….We obviously did get married, and we had a son (not necessarily in that order) but her getting pregnant was not accidental……and on July 20th 2015, I will be married to Gloria for 30 years, more than half my life…..2 full grown boys , both on incredible paths of success, 2 big cuddly lab mixes at home and still saying “I love you ” to each other several times a day, every day. i couldnt even imagine my life without her. She and then my boys are my whole life. Nothing else really matters to me anywhere near as much.   I thought you guys should know……….